10 Lies Nickelodeon Told Me
We’ve already discussed how the Disney movies we so loved as children were able to insidiously mislead us throughout our youth, now it’s time to address the similar untruths propagated by Nickelodeon,...
View ArticleQuestions I Have For Celebrities
Sometimes I wish I were an important celebrity interviewer, a serious journalist just like Ryan Seacrest, so that I could sit down with my favorite stars and notables and ask them just one question....
View Article5 Things Amanda Bynes Should Be Doing Besides Driving A Car
1. Updating her Twitter. A short while ago, Amanda did the unthinkable and deleted all of her tweets, which is such a shame because they were utterly amazing. They read like a sorority girl on crack....
View Article10 Reasons Why Being Famous Would Seriously Suck
1. You’d have to look put together at all times, even at the airport! I mean, are you kidding me? The airport is the one place you can get away with looking like a homeless woman and now you’re telling...
View Article14 Things I Miss From The Early 2000s
1. Lizzie McGuire Lizzie McGuire Box Set: Volume One It’s not just Lizzie’s hijinks and learning experiences that I miss, but there’s a huge void in my heart that only Gordo and Miranda can fill. It...
View ArticleStop Making Fun Of Addicts
Shutterstock There’s a great Mitch Hedberg joke in which he says that alcoholism is the only disease you can be yelled at for having. No one would ever be like, “Damnit Otto! You have lupus!” Because...
View ArticleThe 50 Greatest Tweets Of All Time
An arbitrary, subjective, casual list with a hyperbolic title. Ask your dumbass friends if they know of a reputable artist. — Horse ebooks (@Horse_ebooks) December 25, 2011 emotion called ‘i don’t want...
View ArticleA Quixotic Quest For Poetic Justice For Amanda Bynes?
A thing that is either too stupid or too smart — therein a thing I do not fully understand — is the etiological significance behind the phrase: “When you cannot effectively engage in a dialogue with...
View ArticleThe 10 Best Amanda Bynes Tweets
Actress Amanda Bynes’s Twitter has become notorious for 1.) Saying troubling and/or amusing things; 2.) Vehemently denouncing Perez Hilton; 3.) Making vague philosophical pronouncements. It’s very...
View ArticleIt Is Not Okay To Make Fun Of Amanda Bynes
s_bukley / Shutterstock.com I feel it’s important to note here that Bynes’ public meltdown could all very well be an elaborate publicity stunt. Celebrities (especially those out of the public eye for a...
View ArticleAmanda Bynes Livetweets Smoking Kush
s_bukley / Shutterstock.com 12:05 AM – 24 May 12 I do what I want! If I want to smoke that dank ass OG Kush that’s what I do!!! Rawr! 12:08 AM – 24 May 12 Shawty bout to choke on that pipe...
View ArticleDo You Think Amanda Bynes Is Trolling Us?
Amanda Bynes Have you seen Network? If not, let’s fill you in. Directed by Sidney Lumet, Network was a film about the changing boundaries of entertainment in a modern media era. In it, the Division...
View ArticleAmanda Bynes: The Accidental Modernist?
Modernist literature was born of a dire, urgent need—one that pulsed through the veins of late-19th and early-20th-century writers. These writers aimed to expose the imposed order of 19th century...
View ArticleCrazy’s Double Standard
To observe Amanda Bynes in these recent months is to be reminded of the immense pleasure the general public gets from her visible turmoil. It brings to minds the past reactions to Lindsay Lohan’s...
View Article31 Ways To Say No To Sex
Sexual intercourse is a beautiful and natural physical activity to express love for your significant other. Or lust for a random person you met while in a semi-intoxicated state a creepy nightclub in...
View ArticleWhere Are They Now: Amanda Bynes After Her 5150 Hold
What began as a 72-hour mandatory stay at the hospital has now been extended to over a month, and while Bynes’s social media presence ceased entirely during the first half of her stay, she’s recently...
View ArticleBreaking: Gucci Mane Has Declared A War On Everyone
Gucci Mane’s Twitter If you haven’t heard already, Gucci Mane is on the warpath. He’s been Tweeting nonstop for the last six or so hours, dropping names, making threats, offering to leak nude pictures...
View Article18 Ways To Be Awkward
shutterstock.com You can’t just become awkward overnight. It takes copious hours spent alone to really hone this skill. Hours spent mulling over inconsequential conversations and affairs, over...
View ArticleWhat Paris Hilton Says About Our Culture Of Slut-Shaming
In a weird way, I came of age in the Paris Hilton generation, when the wealthy socialite and her hoard of louboutin-wearing celebutantes stormed the media in matching tans. Paris Hilton came from...
View Article19 Ways To Last In NYC
shutterstock.com On October 11th, 1923, Ernest Hemingway wrote a letter to Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas detailing his thoughts on New York City, where he had moved from Paris. He wrote, Contrary...
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